I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
NoShamevember. You game?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
