If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
