I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
