So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
