He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
