I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
