I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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