Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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