I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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