Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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