You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
