Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
