It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
