I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How does one acquire holy water?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
