North Korea, Best Korea!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
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