I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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