508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
