There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize