put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
