I can tuck mytits in my pants
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize