she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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