Can Purell be used as lube?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
