Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
