He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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