The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sorry about my life...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize