Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
