Your tits are I can't wait for
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
whose parrot is this?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
