seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
there is glitter all over my balls
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
