Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
