Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
