Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize