Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
