so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
