i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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