We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
