They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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