HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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