she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
