shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
