no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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