i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
