When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
