can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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