guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
