does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
