Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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