i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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