you would pick up someone in the library
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I love you.
Bad choice
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
