Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize