Im at strip club and am horny
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Vodka?
Forever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
