dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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