Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Watching her eat just hurts me
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
