dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
