We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
