Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
