Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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