operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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