dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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