Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
