He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
