Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
