i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
