I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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