I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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