i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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