I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
