yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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